Holy moly guyz,

This is a fucking trip haha I had completely forgotten about these posts below and I'm so glad that I did!

In the first post of Hola Papaya I spoke about a 'weird specieman' Nicolas, who was my first little insight into a nomad's life. Now, all these years later I've come as far as to call myself a nomad! To think that in 2016 I was freshly graduated from London South Bank University with a writers degree, used to living in a cosmopolitan city and spending summers in Europe. Then now, January 2019 I have probably taken at least 100 flights in the last few years, up and down and all around the globe, haha. It's almost as if Nicolas, who I now know is from Goa - the hippy traveller's mecca in India - came to tell me about a life I was going to choose for myself for the following years. I sometimes feel like every living moment we have, every person we meet, every relationship we experience is preparing us for the next thing coming up, giving us a little heads up and providing with appropriate knowledge.

As I write this I am sitting on my balcony in Tulum, Mexico. A tiny Caribbean hippy town with a luxurious twist for high end tourism.

So why Mexico? Well, after graduating from uni in 2016 I decided to travel to India, Goa, where I spent two months and almost met up with Nicolas the wandering poet himself. This didn't happen tho, as not all roads are meant to cross again. My way took me to Nepal instead, of which I have so many stories to tell I gotta make a separate post about it. Lol, I can't wait.

Then after three months of the most breathtaking experiences (both trekking in the Himalayas as well as paragliding) I decided to return to London, to set up my very own stall at Camden Market. So it was there, in the middle of Camden, stuck in rain hiding under my rain cover, when I found myself wondering about my next travel location. Overwhelmed by the vastness of the world and the freedom to go anywhere, I was starting to get kind of anxious about making a plan for the following winter.
Right, fuck it I thought to myself, and made a deal with Cosmos or whatever that depending on where my next customer was from, that is where I'd go. It wasn't long after this lovely blonde English girl stopped by my shop and almost like got stuck there with me, going deep into telling me about her incredible hitch-hiking and awesome couch surfing experiences in Mexico. Great, I said to her, you've just helped me choose my next location. Thanks for that!

N just like that the decision was made, the intention set and plans created. I had always wanted to go and study film in Los Angeles, so I decided to book my first flight there, where I couch surfed on my own for the first time with this geeky Gutemalan guy Juan, who did everything he could to make sure we had a great time. =)
I had actually popped by Tenerife, Thailand and Bali as well prior to my flight to LA in March 2018, but once again these are stories for other times.

So first I landed in Puerto Vallerta, the pacific coast of Mexico. A town for gays and old people. =) Seriously there's like 1-2 clubs with slightly shit music, the fun gay clubs and a ton of restaurants fillllled with waves or retired people. So, I made my way to Sayulita pretty quickly, a dusty surf town about an hour away. I actually went there to do my very first workaway experience at a surf club, which I assumed was going to be a fun experience, but realising it included mainly data typing into 3 different systems (literally the exact same information) I said to myself it's ok, I deserve better and quit after the first day. Haha, well also because I imagined there would be a lot more surfing and so on. Anyway, it wasn't for me.

Instead I met sum cool people at a hostel and had a great time for about a week, when I ended up on a roadtrip back to Puerto Vallerta. This time I had come across some skydivers and went on wicked trek in the jungle with them. To them it was training, to me it was fun jumping up and down the giant rocks, that had once formed a river, imagining I was a dinosaur. We ended the intense two hour trek with a quick dip in a man made pond or cenote if you like and carried on to the sea to go swimming and finally ended the day with ice-cream in a jacuzzi. It's definitely one of the best days I had here in Mexico, for I absolutely love trekking, climbing, swimming etc. only thing is they were all full size fit men and I was the only gal, so yes I didn't walk for the next few days and I also fucked my neck which I couldn't move for about a week. All in all, it was still worth it. ='D


As a side note I was at a chemist somewhere near Guadalajarra asking for maximum strength painkillers for my neck, when a hero doctor behind me stepped in and made the woman prescribe me 800mg ibuprofein - the kind I was never able to buy again. Not without a prescription anyway! What a miracle, and timing!

So, this takes us now to April 2018 which is when I visited Mexico City, bare in mind I was couchsurfing nearly everywhere all the time for it's the best way to save money AND experience the local culture. This means I was lucky enough to meet an illustrator, who took me in and also took me to a local crazy artists bday party with mariatchis and where I met a guy who claimed to be playing Johnny Depp in a Netflix movie or series. =D Total metal. (estonian slang)

Early May 2019 I came to meet my friend Ida in Cancun, the super south side of Mexico, by the Caribbean and not far off from Tulum - our final destination that soon became home for the both of us. =) Much happened inbetween now and then, but more about that next time. Why we stayed and what else happened.

Big love and hugs to everyone I came across over this short time period, you know who you are.

Thanks!

Stay tuned

N.

So I came across this video today and I'm SO glad that I did!

Coming back to London after two months of spending nearly every day outdoors and in the nature nearly killed me.
I met a guy last week called Leon by the canal in Camden and we agreed that London is for people who want to work hard, play hard, generally push themselves and become even harder.
However, this much hardness actually broke me some time ago and made me soft like a yellow egg yolk, much softer than I was a couple of years ago, when this lifestyle was still new to me, when the excitement of living in a new place was still feeding into my soul and the challenges making me stronger by the day.
Man, these last 4 years in London have felt like.. 8 years.. really. It was a fantastic place to choose to come to after graduating from high school in Estonia, since this was the first time I had the opportunity and the freedom to become the person I am today. London has tested every single area of my life and I think if I managed to survive London without completely losing my shit, which I nearly did several times but that's another book to write, I am pretty sure I will survive anywhere, ha!

Today, I still love London and all it's magic, but I cannot help but suffer, ache and moan to myself about the constant 'have to succeed in speed' vibe hovering above London. The other day I realised I hadn't spent a single day at home on my own since I had arrived to London two weeks ago.. and I'm an introvert!=D So when I finally took some time off, to do my nails, catch up with some stuff and just generally chill.the.fuck.out, I couldn't ignore the underlying feeling of.. pressure. Feeling like I had to be doing something.. anything.. that would create success, open new doors for me or at least bring in some money! God!

Now, that is simply too much. For me, staying in London without a mission is pure mental. Before, I had university and prior to that I was bouncing around and discovering a new place with a smile on my face. But there is only so much one can learn by staying in the same place for long periods of time and I think I can see the circle finishing. London is an incredible city to live in but only if you are going all in. It's simply not a place to chill and I feel like I have worked hard enough to finally deserve a bit more of that smiling sunshine in my life.

Also, it's not surprising but a little bit sad that finishing university didn't feel special. I actually received a 1st, that means cum laude (in Estonian standards), and I just fucking don't feel a thing. Sure, it was an amaaaazing day when I found out and I felt very proud, but now I realise that going to university was simply an extension of a comfort zone, which has left me, well, with more knowledge but generally still empty handed AND a truly strange transitional period to be in. That gap between university and a career, something I have no intention of starting yet, but which makes me feel like I am living my life wrong. It makes me feel like if I don't go to do masters degree now and start a career tomorrow then I am going to fail my life.

Clearly, that is not the case and I realise that if I stay here for another winter, I will just lose myself and forget what I wanted my life to be like - different. Sure, it's my own problem having set up all these high expectations for myself, to succeed, to make a great career, but I know for a fact that if I was anywhere else than a city, I would feel much more relaxed about reaching my goals, in it's own time, in it's own way, I know because I experience it every time I leave London, haha. They say if you wanna do something you gotta do it straight away.. but isn't that the problem? There is way too much to do! I wanna do everything, not just one thing, but TEN THOUSAND things!! I wanna dive, surf, climb, jump, dance and most of all just..
PLAY and have a good time!=)

Isn't that what life is about?

Thoughts from Madrid, 22/8/16

As someone interested in writing, I am often watching people. That means placing different individuals in imaginary stereotyped boxes and trying to make sense of different groups of people, which later helps me to create believable characters in my stories. 

However, last summer 2015 in Estonia, I came across an interesting specimen, Nicolas, a poet and a traveller, who I was struggling to make sense of. I had never met anyone like him before or even if I had, they didn't quite give off the same vibe as he did.

What made him special was the way he was unable to explain where exactly he was from or where he belonged. You see, he was from everywhere. Since that time I have magically started coming across many other people alike - people who have spent the last 20 years travelling, to an extent where some of them 'Haven't stayed in one place longer than 6 months in the last decade.' 

I realise now that the last 4 years in London were just the beginning, that when my friend Phil tried to empathise with my now seemingly meaningless identity crisis (too Estonian to be English and too English to be Estonian), he was probably thinking about a similar concept, how there are no cultural boundaries to our identity. 

This reminds me that all my life, I have been a loner, like a fox - quietly keeping an eye on stuff, getting along with everybody, but never really belonging anywhere. But perhaps that is something that makes a traveller, well, traveller? Ability to cruise along, through different groups and countries, without becoming too attached to places and people.. That said, I don't want you to think I'm disloyal, no, once I befriend someone, they're stuck with me for life. 

Also, it's quite funny thinking back now how four years ago when I first arrived in London, I genuinely felt like I would want to spend the rest of my life here..

I'm glad I outgrew such scary thought. 

So yeah, this is how it begins, yet another adventure, far out from the norms set out by the superficial society we live in.